Episode 9: Ephesians 4:17-5:2: What does real change in the Christian life look like?

What does it really look like to walk in light of all that we've seen so far in Ephesians? The rubber is beginning to hit the road now as we carry on with our journey through Ephesians. Will you join us to find out?

• Questions to Dig into over a Cup of Tea

  1. What's the difference between the old self and the new self that's presented here?

  2. What's attractive about the new self, and it's focus on words?

  3. Where does this most challenge and encourage you as you think about putting on the new self?

• Sponsorship Details

  This episode is sponsored by Crossway.

  Crossway publish gospel-centered, Bible-based content that honours our Savior and serves his church. They seek to help people understand the massive implications of the gospel and the truth of God’s Word, for all of life, for all eternity, and for the glory of God.

  Check out their website for all their up-to-date resources.

• Episode Transcript

  The following is an uncorrected transcript generated by a transcription service. Before quoting in print, please check the corresponding audio for accuracy. 

  Felicity: You're listening to the Two Sisters and a Cup of Tea podcast, the Bible Study podcast for everyday life. We're here for a 20 minute burst of Bible chat over a cup of tea and an English style biscuit as we make our way through a Bible book over the course of the season and seek to drive it to our hearts. This season we're getting into Paul's letter to the Ephesians and whether you've been listening for a while or you've just found us, we're so glad you're here.

  Sarah: We're grateful to be sponsored by Crossway this season and the ESV Prayer Journals written by Erica Allen are a beautiful set of journals covering topics such as faith, forgiveness, wisdom, evangelism, peace, hope, the gospel. Each book includes six weeks of teaching, prayer and journaling prompts. I've particularly enjoyed the one delving into the gospel, which deeply dives into passages that have really grown my awe and wonder of with ample space for journal reflections, beautiful illustrations, these journals would make a lovely gift or a great prompt just for deeper time with the Lord over the summer. Grab your copies at Crossway.

  Felicity: Welcome to Two Sisters and a Cup of Tea. My name is Felicity. I'm in the States. I'm here with my sister Sarah. She's in the UK. We're excited to be getting into the second half of chapter four of Ephesians. Cup of tea in hand. Biscuit actually not here today but still enjoying biscuits. But Sarah, let's talk about church and your church, my church. What are we loving about our church at the moment? What are you loving?

  Sarah: There's so much, so much I'm thankful for and so much I love about our church family, but particularly we live in a very diverse pocket of London and seeing that diversity walk into church on a Sunday morning is just beautiful. I love the amount of different languages, I love the different cultures that walk through the door, I love the different conversations that happen off the back of that. So really thankful for that. And I think just, I'm just really enjoying seeing my husband, appreciating my husband in his role as pastor at the moment. I'm really loving the way the word is at work in his heart and the way that is overflowing in how he serves our congregation. And I'm just really, really grateful for the opportunity it is to just watch week by week and to be a participant in that. It's just a really big privilege of being a pastor's wife really so very grateful. How about you?

  Felicity: I love that, love that. I love our people. We have just the most welcoming, authentic crowd of people and you can't really walk into the church and not feel welcomed. I think people are so great at speaking to everyone and we're not a big church and I think that helps that we kind of know each other. And there's a real honesty. Sometimes in church there can be a bit of a kind of polished, I'm putting on a good front because I'm coming to church and I'm supposed to brush myself off. And I feel like somehow we seem to have sidestepped that and there's a really lovely honesty. I think we've benefited from church being going about 12, 14 years and it's always had good expositional preaching from the front. I think that means that the church crowd are really hungry for the word. And so when we have a Bible study, when we get the Bible open, there's a real kind of like, just a desire to get into it. Let's talk about it and let's not chat about the other stuff, but let's really work out what this says. And so, yeah, I feel very, very privileged to be part of such a community.

  Sarah: Yeah, brilliant. Well, we're going to get into the second half of chapter four. I'm going to read from verse 17 down to five, verse two today. Let's go. 

  “So I tell you this and insist on it in the Lord that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity and they are full of greed. That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and when you were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught with regard to your former way of life to put off your old self, which has been corrupted by its deceitful desires to be made new in the attitude of your mindsand to put on the new self created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbour, for we are all members of one body. In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands that they may have something to share with those in need.Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Follow God's example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

  Felicity: Thank you, Sarah. Really striking, again, we have these contrasts, don't we? It's a little echoes of chapter two, I think, where, you know, we must no longer live as the Gentiles do. And then he kind of goes back to a description of what that's like. And interestingly, that knowledge theme comes out here, really, futility of thinking darkening the run of something, the root issue is actually a lack of understanding, a lack of knowledge, a lack of the revelation in the midst of that.

  Sarah: It's mind and heart, isn't it? So there's a kind of ignorance, but it's due to the hardening of their hearts and they've kind of given themselves over to abundant sin, haven't they? it's that kind of, yeah, what I believe sits at the core, the heart will overflow into my actions and into how I'm living. And it's just a really stark reminder, isn't it, of without the spirit at work, without light, without life, and this is the situation.

  Felicity: And it's a sad situation really isn't it? It's not this idea even that greed would dominate and all that. But the contrast then in verse 20, however, this is not the way of life you learned. And I think that's just really interesting. It's not that it's just magically kind of just come upon you this way of life, but there's a deliberate through the grace of God answered prayer, the eyes of our hearts being enlightened that we might know, but you have learned this when you heard about Christ and were taught in him. There's just a real active kind of pursuit of that. And it comes back again to chapter one, verse 13, when you heard and you believed, you changed, like you shifted from this verses 17 through 19. This is now who you are, verse 20, 21.

  Sarah: Yes, and just that, I think just that the idea really of godliness being both caught and taught here, that you are being taught it, but you will have learned from those further on in the faith as you were taught by them and as you heard the message of truth that is in Christ. And so you were taught with regard to your former way of life to put it off, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted. It's that kind of idea of unholy, dirty isn't it of just deceitful desires that have no no longer have a place in your heart no longer have a place in you at all so you have to put that off the striking thing is in verse 23 you're then to be made new in the attitude of your mind so what you know what you think about is going to be helping you to do that and it's going to be helping you to then put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. So the putting off and the putting on, sandwiching, the renewing your mind, kind of your mind and the attitude of your mind being informed and fuelled by a growing knowledge of all that we've seen so far in the letter about Christ.

  Felicity: Yeah, and I love that created, the past tense of there, the created, this new self. It takes us back to those good works which have already been prepared that we would walk in. This whole notion of actually God has given us all we need. Literally, there's still no call for boasting because this has all been created, given in the likeness of God himself, righteousness and holiness. And so there's a freedom in that, that we can step into what God has created, that he is in the business of doing. And so then we get into this, the big therefore, the kind of the horizontal kind of outworking of that. Therefore, verse 25, put off all these things and really, and do these things. And it's using your words, using every element of who you are in order to build up the body in order to do what was just being described in the first half of chapter four.

  Sarah: Yes, it's really striking, isn't it? The corporate impact of this. So as you put on the new self, as you put to death the old self, actually it is in relation to others. It's other-centered from the way that you speak truthfully to your neighbour, to your anger and what it looks like for the devil not to get a foothold. Actually, if the devil gets a foothold there, of course it's going to disrupt your unity. And that is a really crucial thing that we've just been hearing about. Really, really important that we make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. So just kind of acknowledging that actually even just that phrase about anger, it's in relation to others. And then as we go on further on to verse 29, just don't let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And I love that, just the idea that actually we really, we have an opportunity to speak the truth in love and to benefit others in the way that we use our words. Yes, we need to put off words that are not going to be helpful and that is a daily challenge, it? And a daily call to die to self in that. But just the beauty of, wow, do you realize that your words can have this kind of impact? That you can walk into a church on Sunday, that you can meet up with someone during the week and your words can benefit them. You can bring a word of grace that is going to fuel them just love them. It's a beautiful thing to desire, isn't it?

  Felicity: Absolutely and it's empowering as well in that do we think, do we really believe that words can have this kind of power? I would think that we are all aware that we need to be careful, you know, we know, James, as James tells us, our tongue can be, you can light a fire, can't it? And so we maybe have the more negative element of that. But as you're saying, the beauty of this, that just through a conversation that we might build someone up, that we might benefit someone, I think again, and I feel like this happens a lot throughout this letter, that the elevation of the ordinary faithfulness, like the ordinary moment of grabbing someone after church for a quick chat, of making space in our calendars to go and actually drive and see that person or whatever it may be, the benefit of that is actually of eternal significance because the depiction at the start of this section Gentiles' futility of thinking darkened in their understanding. The counter to that is to bring truth, is to bring revelation, is to bring... and it's not that as we sit down with someone, let me tell you about Jesus every single time, but actually how am I pointing you to Jesus with the way that I am with our topic of conversation with, you know, there's relational degrees in that, aren't there? I'm not suggesting that we're supposed to bash each other with the gospel every time, but just seeing that that is what can happen as we open our mouths is just a joy, I think. 

  Sarah: Yes. And not even just open our mouths, but how we use our thumbs in messaging, how we just respond to one another in various different ways, you know, even just taking it into kind of the groups you have on your phone, messaging groups, whatever it is, just acknowledging that our words have power and he's asking us here to use our words to build up, to build up. And that just we acknowledge that, yeah, we can only do this because of Christ already having walked in the way of love. Because verse one of chapter five, follow God's example as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love just as Christ loved us and gave himself for us. And just that I think what's been helpful for me in that, just recognizing that is actually that, that is a costly sentence that we've just read there. He loved us and gave himself up as a sacrifice to God. Sometimes it's going to feel really hard to put anger death. Sometimes it's not going to be easy to get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander along with every form of malice. Malice is that very hidden, hidden corrosive kind of anger isn't it? And actually I can very easily cover that up. I don't need to show that to anyone but actually that is a corrosive anger that's really going to damage my relationships with others if that festers. And just you need to put that to death he's saying here. You need to you need to take that to the cross and you need to pray that the Lord would help you to put off the old self, to be renewed in the attitude of your mind and to put on the new self that is beautiful because you're walking in how you're created to be in true righteousness and holiness and who, who doesn't want that actually like I would love I would love more of that and less of what you know everything else that's described here but just recognizing that it is like to put sin to death in this way and the sins of our words and our lips and our mouths and our thoughts. That's a costly thing to do and it's an intentional thing to do here, isn't it?

  Felicity: It really is and that is what we've seen all the way through, the pursuit make every effort and it is and it's so wonderful to know that when he says created in to be like God in true righteousness and holiness back in 24 that five verse two is really what is being pictured there so as we I like the almost the sandwich effect of that as we see that we're taking us back to chapter two, even see what Christ did, who Christ is, and then are reminded of that. Yes, this is actually the only means by which I can do this because it's quite a list, isn't it? And we're only getting into a few of them given our time constraints, but you could really spend some time in this passage just allowing the Lord to search our hearts. What do I need to confess in relation to this? What am I not doing? What am I doing that actually causes disunity or unsettles or actually does not benefit someone else? Just even just sitting with that for a few minutes and, okay, Lord, help me to see where I'm actually not being like Christ in this. And there's a freedom to do that because of chapter two, we have been made alive in Christ. It's not dependent upon us pursuing this perfectly. But as ever, we can confess our sin from the security of being in Christ. And as a result, we can then pursue and put on and walk in this way all the more as God enables us to do that. I don't know, because this is a fairly convicting kind of list of things. So it's helpful just to have that kind of structure, I think.

  Sarah: Definitely, and I think part of being kind of made new in the attitude of our mind is also seeing the connection with all that we've seen so far. So back in chapter three, we were talking about this revelation that's been given to Paul to declare the boundless riches of Christ. This revelation that then these word gifts are given in order to declare this revelation further to the church around the world. And then that, that kind of connection of we are to then speak the truth in love to one another. So just this trajectory of this word of grace that's been given all the way through. And then this just really, it not only impacts how we're speaking to what the content of what we're speaking to one another, but the manner here, isn't it? And how we're speaking to one another. And I think I've just really enjoyed kind of seeing that kind of tracing that line through of words and word of grace that we've been given. And so this is a really fitting behaviour that is fuelled by our knowledge of the Word, knowledge of how God reveals himself through the Word, and that we would then therefore extend words of grace to one another, words of truth to one another, because we have been impacted by this word of grace given. And so I think, yeah, I've just enjoyed seeing that kind of come through in a way that I've not really seen before, I don't think. And so that makes me more inclined to want to put off the old self and put on the new self because actually he's given me everything I need to do. And this is the fitting behaviour. This is the fitting clothing I need to clothe myself with because of all that's been given already.

  Felicity: Yeah, I love that. Sarah, why don't you pray for us that we would be those who are able and willing to put on this new self.

  Sarah: Love to. Heavenly Father, we thank you so much for the word of grace that we have received, Lord, that we live in light of the truth, that we've learned and we've heard about and we've been changed by. And we just really pray that our knowledge of the truth really would lead to godliness and that we would be continually putting off the old self and putting on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Lord, please help us to guard our tongues. Please help us to put off falsehood and speak truthfully. Please help us to be using our words to build others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Lord, we long to be doing that. We pray on, Lord, that you would be empowering us to use our words in a way that will truly bless and help others to see more of Jesus. And so we pray that for our everyday conversations. We pray that around the church gathering on a Sunday. We pray all of it, Lord, that it would be to your glory as we walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us. And in your name we pray. Amen. 

  Felicity: Amen. Well, thank you, Sarah. Thank you, everyone. I wonder who can you encourage in your local church this week? Why not email your elders or church leaders with what you're thankful for? I'm sure it would be a means of building them up, as we've been thinking about. And we will be back next Friday to get into Chapter 5. We're looking forward to it. And we will see you then. Goodbye.

  Sarah: See you then. This episode has been sponsored by Crossway.

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